Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me!"

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."