An old (but true) story

A little old lady goes into the head office of ANZ bank a few years ago, carrying a bag of money. She insists on speaking to the CEO before opening a savings account because, "It's a lot of money".

After a lot of hemming and hawing she is eventually ushered in to the office of Mike Smith, who asks her how much she would like to deposit. "Two million in cash" she says.

Smith is of course somewhat curious as to how the old woman came to have all this money in cash and aks her about it. "I made it from proposition bets" she tells him. "Amazing. Can you give me an example?" he asks. "Sure", she says. "I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

Somewhat taken aback, Mike Smith assures her that his balls are most certainly not square. "Then don't be a chickenshit, put your money where your mouth is", she goads him.

Feeling a bit annoyed by now he agrees to the bet, assuring her that she can't possibly win. "Maybe not" she said. "But since there's a lot of money riding on it, can I bring my lawyer in tomorrow morning at 10 am as a witness?" "Sure", says Smith. "In fact I'd prefer a lawyer to be present."

That night Mike starts to feel very nervous about the strange bet and spends a lot of time in front of the mirror, turning from side to side, checking his balls carefully to make sure they are definitely not square.

The next morning at precisely 10 am the little old lady and a high powered lawyer arrive at the bank and are ushered into Mike Smith's office. She introduces the lawyer to the CEO and the terms of the bet are repeated. "$25,000 says that his balls are square."

The lawyer starts to look highly uncomfortable, but Mike, feeling confident now, unbuttons his trousers and slips off his underpants to reveal all. "As you can see", he says, "They are not square." The old lady peers closely at them and asks if she can feel them, to make absolutely certain. "Sure. For $25,000, why not?"

As the little old lady is handling his balls Mike notices her lawyer has gone pale and is quietly banging his head against the wall. "What's the matter with him?", he asks. "Oh nothing", she replies. "It's probably just that I bet him $100,000 that at 10.05 am today I'd have the ANZ bank boss's balls in my hand."