Prodigal daughter.

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn ' t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru? '

The girl, crying, replied, ' Sniff, sniff....Dad .... I became a prostitute... '

'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that 's parked outside plus a membership to the country club...(takes a breath)... And an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera. '

'Now what was it ye said ye had become? ' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, ' Sniff, sniff...a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff. '

'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.